Since I am temporarily separated from all of my workout partners, it’s been somewhat of a challenge trying to continuously push myself. Not just in how hard I work out, but also with changing up the routine. By the way, Marissa Miller wasn’t actually my trainer, I just thought we should finally get a picture of a hot girl on the site…and I love her.

As luck would have it, when I joined my gym, I got a free personal training session. Most gyms do this, so go ask about it if you haven’t already. I set up the time and when I met with the trainer he of course asked me what my goals were and why I wanted the session blah blah fuckin blah. I basically told him that I wanted him to hurt me, kill me, push me, take my body to the edge, make me cry like a little school girl panzy ass bitch, so on and so forth. 

HUGE MISTAKE (But an awesome huge mistake)

I’m going to try to breakdown the workout he had me do. Every exercise was about three things in one though, so it may get a little confusing.

Oh and just a little note before I begin, these damn trainers are all about no rest between sets and kicking your ass with 12lb weights (very embarrassing).

1. Seated Bench Press Machine w/ Two Independent Arms - Started with 90lbs on each side. Extend both arms and hold them there. Do 5 reps one arm, 5 reps the other, then 10 reps both at the same time. Rest and repeat. Third set is with 80lbs on each side, 12 reps of 5 count negatives. My muscles gave out on every set except the first, but he continuously spotted me until all reps were complete.

2. Seated Incline Bench Machine - I don’t even know how much weight he put on this damn thing, but it felt very odd doing an upright incline press. Anyway, this was more straightforward; 2 sets, 12 reps each, barely got through the first set without help, died on the second.

3. Lunge Variation - At this point I’m already a waste of life. Holding 12lb weights at shoulder height, preform lunges across the entire gym, pressing the dumbbells above your head while exploding up from each lunge, then turn around and go back.

4. Curl Variation - Still with 12lb weights, do a regular curl, when you get to the top of your curl, rotate the weights inward and do a reverse curl on the way down. Keep the reverse grip on the way back up and rotate outwards on the way down. That constitutes one repetition. Do 2 sets of 12 reps. Using 25lb dumbbells, 2 sets of curls, 1minute non stop for each set.  

5. Circuit Station - This will require some explaining. It consists of three separate exercises done one right after another. Ideally one would run this circuit 4 times without rest.

Step 1: Holding a kettle ball of indeterminate weight at chin level, preform a squat, and do a kettle ball shoulder press on the way up. 12 reps.

Step 2: Grab one of the things that’s in the picture right there. Flip it so that the rubber part is on the ground and do 15 pushups on the hard base. This forces your stabalizer muscles to keep you balanced.

Step 3: Get a full exercise ball. Get into position like you would do a pushup on it, but support yourself using your forearms instead of your hands. Make sure your back and butt don’t slouch, keep them in the air. Hold this for about 30 seconds. This is great for your core.

6. Abs - He had me do a whole bunch of crazy differenct crunches and leg lifts and turns. Basically just take every ab varaition you can find online and go do it.

I’m pretty sure that was everything. We did all this in about 40 minutes MAX. I couldn’t get my shirt off in the locker room, couldn’t raise my arms to wash my pits in the shower, I could barely even step up on to the scale or move the sliders to weigh myself.

***I want to get people’s opinion here…the female trainers at my gym are smokin’ hot and I don’t know if I should train with them so I can stare at them and hit on them and possibly work out harder because I’m trying to impress them, or with a guy who might be able to push me a little bit more. Let me know.***